It’s an exciting time of year to be a sports fan. The European domestic rugby season is surging
every closer, the cricket season is reaching a climax and even the USA’s only
decent sport, the NFL, is just getting rolling.
But of course, in the UK, the biggest source of gossip for badly written
newspapers and sports shows is the beginning of the bloody Premiership football
season.
Don’t get me wrong, I like football, but if I have to read
about how Shrek’s uglier and sweatier cousin, Wayne Rooney, is whinging about
being forced to honour the £200,000 a week contract he signed to play for the
biggest club in the world, then I think I might cry. Seriously, Wayne, grow a pair – can you
imagine the likes of Leigh Halfpenny or Chris Robshaw having a tantrum if they
briefly fell out of favour at their clubs?
Pull your socks up, get on the training pitch, prove your boss wrong,
and claw your way back to that first choice spot. Don’t bleat about it to newspapers.
Anyway, enough about football – and that’s before I’ve got
stuck into that greasy, horse-faced nibbler Luis Suarez – because thankfully a
very manly tournament is about to get underway in the Southern Hemisphere. The smugly named Rugby Championship (why not
the Four Nations) has long been the envy of the northern hemisphere whilst it
was in its 3 nation format, and the introduction of Argentina hasn’t done
anything to change that. The speed, the
skill, the massive hits and the suspect defensive work (careful...) makes for
edge-of-the-seat rugby rather than the sporting turds we get served up in the
Six Nations.
And this year, with new coaches and emerging coaches,
there’s even more reason to get interested in the crème-de-la-crème of Southern
Hemisphere rugby. Let’s dive in and take
a look at the 4 teams and their prospects for the upcoming tournament.
New Zealand
Head Coach: Steve
Hansen. Although being successor to
World Cup winner Graham Henry isn’t easy, Steve’s had a pretty good start – one
loss to England aside (ouch).
Captain: Richie McCaw. The legendary flanker is back after a
sabbatical of sipping wine and going fishing, so the jury is still out on
whether or not he’ll be fresh or rusty – but one thing not in doubt is how
important his leadership is to the squad.
The chisel-jawed warrior sticks his face where most people won’t stick
their feet and appears to be best buddies with every ref on the planet – a
lethal mix for a captain.
Key Player: Aaron
Cruden. Normally the staple answer here
is Dan Carter – and true, he has looked good for the Crusaders this season –
but Cruden has for me been the form fly half in New Zealand for a while. He is rapidly developing into a top level
international 10 and makes up for his lack of size with a lightening pass and a
superb rugby brain. He may have the
physical dimensions and appearance of a garden gnome, but he’s a tenacious
character who, with Carter injured for the first 2 games at least, will be key
to New Zealand success.
Prospects: Despite an impressive whitewash of the
French, you look at their absentee list and you almost want to write off their
chances – Dan Carter, Wyatt Crockett and Dane Coles are all missing at least
some of the tournament, whilst key centre Ma’a Nonu seems to currently be as
reliable a lifeguard with Attention Deficit Disorder. But then you remember that blokes like
Cruden, Rene Ranger, Israel Dagg, Liam Messam and Kieran Read are all in superb
form, and you get back to where you started – the All Blacks are going to be
very hard to beat
One to Watch: Rene Ranger. Sure, he blows hot and cold, but the Blues
centre/wing has been a force of nature this year, blasting through people with
his raw power and rea-Ranger-ing (sorry) people in the tackle with, well, his
raw power. The guy is an absolute
specimen and will be sure to cause some sleepless nights to whoever is unlucky
enough to mark him.
Prediction: 1st. Again.
New players, same result – another Championship and Bledisloe for the
All Blacks.
South Africa
Head Coach: Heyneke
Mayer. The ex-Bulls and Leicester Tigers
coach seems to get praise or criticism depending on what the weather is
like. His side are consistently winning
against lesser teams in the northern hemisphere, but pressure is building for
the South Africans to start taking the really big scalps and to start playing
more expansively than their current paint-dryingly dull gameplan allows.
Captain: Jean De Villiers. He may resemble Skeletor, but don’t let that
fool you – despite being one of the toughest centres in world rugby, he is also
one of the most honourable and fair players around, commanding respect from
teammates and opposition. His calming
and direct influence will be required as Meyer attempts to fuse new talent with
the old guard this season.
Key Player: Morne Steyn. The most boring man in rugby to look at and
to watch, he is also remarkably effective.
I class him as the Paul Grayson of South African rugby – but I mean that
as a compliment. He is renowned for his
phenomenal goal kicking but he is also an underrated playmaker and deceptively
quick – there’s just very little song and dance to what he does. He’s picked himself up from a tough couple of
seasons to shine this year and he is absolutely key to the South African
machine in terms of gaining field position and keeping the scoreboard ticking
over.
Prospects: The least surprising prospect in the
world, really – the South Africans will be brutally physical. It will be enough to deal with Argentina and
maybe turn Australia over a couple of times, but if they are to progress they
need to expand on their predictable kick-based game...otherwise, teams will
eventually find them out.
One to Watch: Jan Serfontein. This kid is essentially Francois Steyn mark
2. The 2012 IRB young player of the year
is brutally physical and a smart player with the ball in hand. He may not be first choice but, after year of
shining for the Bulls, expect him to get a chance in the Springbok jersey.
Prediction: 3rd. Despite a decent showing against inferior
sides in the summer, they need to show more than just bish-bash-bosh-kick – and
I don’t think Meyer is willing to take the risk of trying something new.
Australia
Head Coach: Ewan
Mackenzie. With all the disappointment the
Aussies have gone through with sport lately, Mackenzie has taken on the role of
saviour. Let’s see if he’ll deliver.
Captain: James
Horwill. His face may be a geometrically
perfect square, but the Queensland lock is one smart captain as a well as a
tough piece of work. He is an expert at
firing his side up and will always be first into the fray, with a colossal
physicality his trademark at the breakdown.
He will need to be at his intimidating best if the Wallabies are to have
any hope of taking on the big guns.
Key Player: Will
Genia. Yawn. It’s about as predictable as a hysterical Daily
Mail headline following a Kate Middleton fart, but it’s the same every time –
this guy is the best scrum half, if not player, in the world. He leads from the front, barking orders at his
team, and his sharp service and intelligent kicking game is complimented by his
fantastic pace and eye for a gap. If he
is on top of a game, he is not only capable of winning games by himself...he
can turn the form of his entire side round.
He’s that influential.
Prospects: For the first time in years, the Wallabies
go in as a bit of an unknown quantity.
With a new coach and a newly trimmed squad, the atmosphere seems good on
the outside but it all depends how much they will click. Luckily, the fresh start is exactly what was
needed after an agonising defeat to the Lions – and if the pack live up to the
potential demonstrated by the Brumbies and Reds in Super Rugby, then there is
every chance we may see this Wallaby back line run wild.
One to Watch: Quade Cooper. OK, he’s not new, but he is so good to watch
(as a rugby player, that is). Recalled
from international exile, we know Quade can dance around entire sides with his
mesmeric footwork and bamboozle defenders with his frankly unnecessarily good
ball skills – but what Mackenzie will be desperate to see is the ability to
take hold of a game and boss his side.
If he does that, as well as cutting loose at the appropriate moment,
then we could see a star reborn.
Prediction: 2nd. I have a good feeling about this Wallabies
side, and if their backline and the likes of Israel Folau get involved enough,
they will cause anyone problems.
Argentina
Head Coach: Santiago
Phelan. Following on from Marcelo
Loffreda and a third place finish in the 2007 World Cup was a bit of a poison
chalice, but Phelan has continued with the steady rise of Puma rugby and
oversaw an impressive first appearance in the Rugby Championship last
year. There are rumours that this will
be his last stint at the helm due to family reasons – he will want to go out
with a bang.
Captain: Juan Martin Fernandez Lobbe. The Toulon flanker may plead to referees like
a turf-diving Italian footballer, but he is also one of the most physically
imposing, athletic and dominant back-rowers around. Constantly a thorn in any opposition’s side,
he is a pin-up in South America for good reason – if anyone can lead the Pumas
to a first win in the Championship, this guy can.
Key Player: Marcos Ayerza. Well known to English fans as being a
fabulous prop in the loose and the anchor of a consistently dominant Leicester
scrum, the loosehead has generally had to play fiddle to the warrior Rodrigo
Roncero on the international circuit.
With the great prop’s retirement though, comes the barrel-chested Puma’s
chance to make his significant mark on world rugby. The Argentine game-plan relies on a dominant
set piece – Ayerza will be tasked with supplying this.
Prospects: A realistic aim should be a first win –
probably at home against the Aussies or the Springboks. They have the back to outmuscle anyone but
they also have some underrated talent lurking outside – they just need to start
using it.
One to Watch: Juan Imhoff. Not a stranger to the international scene by
any means, but a sublime finisher with phenomenal agility and dexterity. This guy knows his way to the line and is not
afraid of embarrassing more established (often untouchable) players to get
there (Leigh Halfpenny, anyone?).
Prediction: 4th. That elusive win may materialise against
Australia or South Africa, but it won’t be enough to pull them out of 4th
spot – for this year at least.
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