RuckedOver's Premiership Season Review

With one last TMO decision, the Premiership season for 2013-14 bowed out in typical drama and controversy, with Saints claiming a stunning win to secure their first domestic title.

But before we say goodbye to one of the tightest tournaments in memory, it’s time to dish out the awards and rate the teams; welcome to RuckedOver’s End of Season dinner.  Order yourself a takeaway. 

RuckedOver's Premiership Team of the Season

1.  Joe Marler (Harlequins) – A much improved scrummager these days and seems to have matured without losing his 'edge'.

2.  Dave Ward (Harlequins) – Outstanding breakthrough season.  Looks like the English Schalk Brits, who himself was brilliant as well.

3.  Logovi'i Mulipola (Leicester) – Chief battering ram and now a monster scrummager.  Decent combination.

4.  Steve Borthwick (Saracens) – Boring?  Sure.  But ever present, and ever reliable in the most dominant pack of the season.  Just edges out the impressive Ed Slater and dynamic Dean Mumm.

5.  Michael Paterson (Sale) – Courtney Lawes and Dave Attwood both looked good but Paterson combined glorious footballing ability with brute power.  A key figure in Sale's revival.

6.  Tom Wood (Northampton) – A season in which he has justified the comparisons with Richard Hill, and that's some compliment.

7.  Jacques Burger (Saracens) – Absolutely stark raving mad, but brilliant.  A terrifying presence in defence for the Londoners.

8.  Billy Vunipola (Saracens) – Just edges Nathan Hughes of Wasps.  His fitness has improved markedly and now he has a work-rate to match his power and un-nervingly large thighs.

9.  Danny Care (Harlequins) – His haircut may be becoming more sensible (perhaps by comparison) by the day, but his performances are getting better and better as well.  Electric.

10.  Danny Cipriani (Sale) – George Ford was a revelation and Stephen Myler was an unsung hero, but for the sheer scale of turnaround, take a bow Mr Cipriani.  He varied his play superbly throughout and appears to have added a controlling presence whilst maintaining his maverick outlook on the game.

11.  Vereniki Goneva (Leicester) – Top try scorer doesn’t tell the whole story.  Always made something out of nothing, which was usually what the Tigers backline created in an injury plagued season.

12.  Luther Burrell (Northampton) – The big centre has developed a deserved reputation for running smart, hard lines, but the Saints man also has a great pass on him, making him a focal point for the Saints game.

13.  George Pisi (Northampton) – It wasn’t a vintage year for outside centres, but Pisi always provided an aura on unpredictability to an otherwise structured (but effective) gameplan.

14.  Chris Ashton (Saracens) – Love him or loathe him, Ashton’s club form has been very impressive – especially at the end of the season.  He seems to have really worked on his defence and got his mojo back in attack too.

15.  Mike Brown (Harlequins) – Well, who else?  Possibly Chris Pennell, I suppose, but the Quins man has picked up every award under the sun this season for a good reason – he’s been an animal in attack and defence, all the while maintaining the look of a young gentleman who will acquire your phone outside of a Wetherspoons at kick-out time.

Awards

Player of the Season:  Vereniki Goneva.  The man has magic dust in his feet and the power of approximately 2 gorillas in his arms.  It is no exaggeration to say that he carried the Leicester team when Manu Tuilagi was away – if it wasn’t for his magic, goodness knows where the Tigers would have ended up.


Runners up:  Mike Brown, who would have won if he wasn’t being superb for England for half of the season; Jaques Burger, who was just ludicrously good to watch in the contact area; and Tom Wood, who finally justified the Richard Hill comparisons.

Young Player of the Season:  George Ford.  I thought he made a mistake taking the ‘cushy’ option and moving for guaranteed rugby and a place closer to daddy at Bath.  I was wrong.  Not only has he controlled games with phenomenal authority but he is capable of moments of individual genius too.  A class act – now he just needs to work on his drop goals...

Runners up:  Anthony Watson, who looked electric all season;  Ollie Devoto, who had a strong end to the year; and Charlie Walker and Jack Nowell, who both impressed in short bursts before injury cut their campaigns short.

The ‘Where the hell have you been?’ award:  Dave Ward.  Ricky Gervais gave a good quote that stated “Got a proper job at 25.  Gave it up to try comedy at 35.  Got fit at 45.  It’s never too late, but do it now.”  Well Dave, you made it – in the season you turned 29.  But by gum it was worth waiting for.  As almost the English version of Schalk Brits, he offers wonderful footwork and compact power in the loose and is a jackal-like presence over the ball.  He fully deserves his England shot this summer.

The Danny Care Sh*t Haircut Award:  Goes to...Jack Nowell.  In an unprecedented turn of events, Danny Care has relinquished his crown, as it were, to the young England and Chiefs winger – who, it is fair to say, has broken all barriers of sh*tness with his barnet.  Greasy slick sweep across the front?  Check.  Mullet?  Check.  Wannabe-Maori Rat’s tail?  Oh please no, but...check.  Stop it Jack.  Who knows what abomination you’ll drive Danny to.

Nowell's haircut has actually been listed as a "Feature of Interest"

in the popular guide, "A Tw*t's Guide to Britain"

Try of the Season: 

1) Jamie Elliot (Northampton) v Gloucester.  This try had everything – George North entering beast mode, slick handling from forwards and over-excited commentary from the box.  Elliot’s not quick, but he’s smart, and his support for this score was top notch.

2) Logovi’i Mulipola (Leicester) v Exeter.  I defy you to show me something more superb than a 21 stone prop hurtling through dainty wingers as if they weren’t there.  Poetry in motion.

3) Christian Wade (Wasps) v Gloucester.  Because you can’t do that Christian.  You can’t just beat half the team by yourself.  Please Christian, stop being injured.


Surprise of the Season:  BT Sport.  I’m sure I wasn’t alone in groaning when BT Sport took over the broadcasting rights to the Premiership.  If their coverage was anything like their broadband then I would expect it to drop out at the climatic moment of an enthralling scrum every time I wanted some alone time.  However, I was proven wrong.  The pre-match build up, the half-time interviews, the commentators, the pundits and the excellent Rugby Tonight have all been top drawer.  It’s finally forced Sky to buck up their attitudes too, as they shamelessly steal various ideas from the BT Sport team.

Villain of the Season:  TMO delays, closely followed by the ridiculous nannying on ‘tip tackles’.  Referees are becoming way too reliant on the video ref – and understandably so.  In my opinion, the intervention of the TMO should be limited to the scoring phase (i.e. from the last breakdown) and to dangerous foul play.  And the tackles – as I commented on by tribute to the great man, half of Wilko’s hits would have led to him being shown a yellow card back in the day.  A good dump tackle is not dangerous, but it is humiliating.  Watch this space for a proposed amendment to the law.


Team Reports

Bath

Grade: B.

Final position:  5th. After sitting in 4th place all season, they took the mother of all kicks in the nuts when Quins beat them to steal the final playoff spot.  Regardless, a season of improvement and emergence of young talent for the West Country side.

Best Player:  George Ford.  The phrase “Like a boss” fits very well.  Steered the ship majestically at times.

Next Season:  More of the same.  Players are growing into their potential.  Perhaps slightly more beef in the tight 5 wouldn’t go amiss.

Exeter Chiefs

Grade:  C.

Final position:  8th.  The Chiefs are no longer new boys and I’m not going to patronise them with another “Oh, they tried hard”.  They have a strong squad, and they should have been targeting another European Cup spot, but a dire run where they couldn’t win in a tombola meant that they slumped down the table.

Best Player:  Dean Mumm.  Captain Amazing.  Masterful in the lineout and a superb ball player. 

Next Season:  There is plenty of young talent coming through but more punch in the back 3 and the front row is needed to really pose a threat.

Gloucester

Grade: D.

Final position: 9th.  Well, it could have been worse.  They were slumped at the bottom with Worcester for a long while, before a semi-recovery helped them up the table.  Nigel Davies (now departed) was a good coach with talent at his disposal but forgot the key ingredient to an exciting team – a solid platform.  His pack was mauled all season long.

Best Player:  Billy Twelvetrees.  He wasn’t always brilliant, but he consistently threw himself in and developed as a leader throughout the season.  His attitude was first class – unlike some.

Next Season:  A pack would be nice.  John Afoa and Richard Hibbard are good signings, but more grunt in the second row is required as well.

Harlequins

Grade:  B+.

Final position:  4th.  After a nightmare start, Quins recovered and were fizzing by the end, pipping Bath to the final playoff spot.  That is credit to the squad as they were forced to deal with a horrific injury crisis and the spine of their team being selected for internationals.  The final was a step too far, but an admirable campaign given the circumstances.

Best Player:  Danny Care.  I’ve already mentioned Mike Brown once and so I really should mention Care.  Intelligent and lightening quick, he is the heartbeat of the Quins attacking game.

Next Season:  More of the same, hopefully without the injuries.  The young talent in the pack is developing nicely, although if I were O’Shea I’d be looking at other options in the midfield – the only area which lacks real class.

Leicester Tigers

Grade: B.

Final position:  3rd.  Usually I’d slap a ‘D’ on a Leicester side failing to make the final but the fact that they, like Harlequins, were so decimated by injury means that it was incredible that they even got as close as they did to making another final – and they should have won their semi.  They threatened to explode into top gear towards the end but didn’t quite make it.

Best Player:  Ed Slater.  Yes, OK, Goneva was really the stand out man but the stand-in skipper deserves a mention.  Brutal power and deceptively soft hands make him a specimen modern lock.

Next Season:  The squad remains looking strong (injury permitting) but I think a change in Cockerill’s coaching team is needed – it’s far too incestuous.  Phil Blake has come over from Oz to take charge of defence, which is a positive step, but if I was Cockerill I would be imploring the board to break the bank to bring over Aaron Mauger or Daryl Gibson to coach the attack, which stagnated badly at times.

London Irish

Grade:  B-.

Final position:  10th.  OK, it’s not a great position, but I had them as favourites to go down, to be honest.  Shorn of plenty of star players, those remaining and those brought in forged a superb team spirit which pulled them out of many a tight spot.

Best Player:  Eamonn Sheridan.  Unfussy is one word I’d use to describe him, but he’s been the rock this year that Irish needed.  Brutal in defence, he’s also developed his handling skills to become a genuine attacking threat.

Next Season:  With Marland Yarde and James O’Connor leaving, there’s a bit of an absence of magic amongst the Irish squad.  A bit more firepower out wide would be very useful.

London Wasps

Grade:  B+.

Final position:  7th.  Wasps continued their upward curve under Dai Young and even managed to claim a European Cup spot with a playoff win over Stade Francais.  Their game plan is simple but effective and they’ve become a good side to watch – even with Andy Goode playing (just don’t look at him).

Best Player:  Andy Goode.  Yes, he’s funny to look at, but Goode has shown why he is one of the Premiership’s best fly halves from the last decade.  Lovely pass, booming boot.  Won Wasps some crucial games (lost a couple too, but we’ll forget about those...).  Will Hughes has been a revelation at number 8 as well.

Next Season:  If they can keep their first choice players fit they can kick on, but they don’t have much strength in depth.  The front row and the back row in particular are areas where they are thing on the ground.

Newcastle Falcons

Grade:  B-.

Final position:  11th.  Well, objective achieved, so to speak.  They’ve stayed up after a decent start to the season saw them pick up points, but they’ve failed to win since October 2013.  The inability to score tries – where they couldn’t finish a Sunday roast – proved costly throughout the season.

Best Player:  Will Welch.  It’s not easy skippering a team that’s often at the wrong end of a pummelling, but Welch impressed me with his physicality and determination throughout.

Next Season:  They desperately need some more firepower for next season and, with the Tuilagis arriving, that looks being exactly what they’ll get.

Northampton Saints

Grade:  A*

Final position:  2nd.  Champions.  Talk about timing it to perfection.  A month before the end of the season it looked as if the wheels might be coming off but, with huge credit to Jim Mallinder, the squad brought it back together and finally shrugged off their 'nearly' tag, winning a magnificent double in the process.

Best Player:  Tom Wood.  Luther Burrell was impressive in the centres but Wood was a pillar of strength throughout the year, leading from the front even when he didn't have the captain's armband.  His physicality and intelligence off the ball in the Premiership Final was top class.

Next Season:  It would be easy to say more of the same but I think Mallinder needs to add some more depth.  There are certain positions – especially in the backline – where the Saints will struggle if one of their frontline players gets crocked.

Sale Sharks

Grade: B+

Final position: 6th.  A very welcome return to form for the Sharks which has coincided with the 're-birth' of Danny Cipriani.  Now that the flamboyant fly half isn't practicing tackling buses in his spare time, the Sharks have combined powerful play in the loose with intelligent and varied attacks out wide, fully earning a place in the top half of the table.

Best Player:  Daniel Braid.  Sure, Cipriani was the poster boy, but Braid was the dog in the pack, working hard in every game and causing havoc in defence by mastering the choke tackle and pilfering plenty of pill on the floor.  Michael Paterson was a freak of nature in the second row as well.

Next Season:  A front row took a worryingly regular hammering.  If Sale want to kick on and start pushing for a playoff spot, they'll need to start

Saracens

Grade: A

Final position: 1^st (runners up).  Yes, they suffered double heartbreak when it really mattered, but that shouldn’t detract from the fact that, for 95% of the season, Sarries were relentlessly dominant, obliterating any foolish outfit that tried to stand up for them.  The downside?  They looked shattered and burnt out when it really mattered – at Twickenham. 

Best Player:  Jacques Burger.  Why tackle with your shoulders when you can use your face?  The man whose nose is slowly migrating across his face led the wolf pack with a ferocious display of commitment in every match.

Next Season:  Sarries need to channel their anger at the injustice of being robbed of a deserved title (when based on the year’s performances) and focus on kicking on to an even higher level next season.  I still think they could do with a really effective ball carrier in the midfield too – they rely too much on the Vunipola brothers for making yards.

Worcester Warriors

Grade: Z

Final position: 12^th.  Just pants.  Take away Dean Ryan’s clap-trap about being ‘a win away from turning things around’, and the fact remains that a side that was good enough to stay up did not do so.  Unimaginative and brainlessly undisciplined at times, it’s sad to see a great club slump so far so quickly.

Best Player:  Chris Pennell.  The full back was a shining ray of light in a dark turd of a season – so much so he’s had a deserved call up to the England squad.  His acceleration and eye for a gap gave the Warriors a rare attacking platform.

Next Season:  They fall into an increasingly competitive Championship, where the likes of Leeds, Bristol and Rotherham all have squads to match them.  They must hang on to their key players and re-assess their style of play to bring back the crowds.