Autumn International Preview - England v Australia

Here in the northern hemisphere we don’t really like that Southern Hemisphere bunch.  Look at them, always smugly beating us, playing in pleasant conditions and entertaining us with their silky handling skills and electric running.  It’s unbearable.  However, there is one very much appreciated exception to the rule, and that’s England v Australia.  An exception made all the sweeter by the fact that, though both nations will hate to admit it, we’re very similar.  Let’s look at the facts – we’re ungracious winners, sore losers, we barbecue at every opportunity and we both have a smaller, irritating neighbour that beats us in rugby on a regular basis.  But, of late, it’s been England who have had the nudge on their great rivals from down under.

There are so many classic England v Australia clashes – too many to list off here.  Aside from the two World Cup finals, there’s been games like the 2007 quarter final, where the Australian set piece was obliterated by Andy Sheridan, or the 2010 thriller where England – and Chris Ashton – really cut loose.  And the build up seems to always be the same – it’s England’s big, grumpy pack against the Wallabies’ free flowing and skilful backline.  But the fixture always throws up the odd surprise, whether it was England’s back play in 2010 or the Wallaby scrum in 2012, somebody always upsets the odds and makes a big impression.

But one area where there is plenty of difference this weekend is in the pressure stakes, with England expected to win in what is effectively the World Cup warm up, seeing as we’re 10 months away from the ‘big one’ in the rugby’s showpiece event.  That pressure has been ratcheted up a couple of notches after the hosts have suffered 5 defeats in their last 6 games (admittedly with those defeats coming to New Zealand and South Africa), whilst new coach Michael Cheika has the benefit of a ‘honeymoon phase’, where he can experiment with his side without suffering the pressure from bad results.  Who that benefits more, I don’t know, but what we do know is that this fixture is never dull and the result is always hard to call.  Unlike most Southern v Northern games.

 

NB  It would be amiss to not mention or show our respects to Phil Hughes, who lost his life after being injured playing cricket in Australia.  It puts the drama of these games into perspective and the sporting world as a whole sends their thoughts out to his loved ones.  You can be sure the Wallabies will be playing for him as well this afternoon.

 

England Team News

England have dropped Owen Farrell for Billy Twelvetrees as one of three changes to the starting XV that dispatched Samoa.   Kyle Eastmond, who started the series at inside centre, is curiously overlooked again.  Farrell has been left out for the first time since June 2012 after under-performing this autumn and is demoted to the bench. Twelvetrees is selected at inside centre, while Dylan Hartley replaces Rob Webber at hooker and Tom Wood comes in at blind-side flanker for James Haskell.

Starting Line-up:  15-Brown, 14-Watson, 13-Barritt, 12-Twelvetrees, 11-May, 10-Ford, 9-B Youngs; 1-Marler, 2-Hartley, 3-Wilson, 4-Attwood, 5-Lawes, 6-Wood, 7-Robshaw (captain), 8-Morgan

Subs: 16-Webber, 17-Mullan, 18-Brookes, 19-Kruis, 20-Haskell, 21-Wigglesworth, 22-Farrell, 23-Yarde

Key Player

Billy Twelvetrees.  The Gloucester man hasn’t been playing badly for his club, but neither has he been in top nick.  That being said, he impressed when he came on against Samoa last weekend and – at the end of the day – he is a natural 12 as opposed to a fly-half playing out of position.   He’s up against Matt Toomua, a bloke who seems to have a bit of a hoodoo over the ex-Tigers centre – he obliterated Twelvetrees in the Brumbies v Lions tour match in 2013 and then ran over him to score in the Autumn Internationals.  Twelvetrees has to make sure his defence is up to scratch and concentrate on doing the basics well – his problems often come when he feels he has to force his (considerably varied and talented) game to try and force opportunities.

 

Australia Team News

There are three changes to the Australia side that started the defeat by Ireland last weekend.  Lock Rob Simmons comes in to earn his 50th cap, while youngster Sean McMahon returns at blindside flanker.  With Tevita Kuridrani unavailable because of an ankle injury, Adam Ashley-Cooper switches from winger to outside centre, allowing Rob Horne to start in the number 14 shirt.

Starting Line-up:  15-Folau, 14-Speight 13-Ashley-Cooper, 12-Toomua, 11-Horne, 10-Foley, 9-Phipps; 1-Slipper, 2-Faingaa, 3-Kepu, 4-Carter, 5-Simmons, 6-McMahon, 7-Hooper (captain), 8-McCalman

Subs: 16-Hanson, 17-Robinson, 18-Alexander, 19-Skelton, 20-Jones, 21-White, 22-Cooper, 23-Beale

Key Player

Sean McMahon.  The name may sound unfamiliar to many English fans (unless you happen to follow Super Rugby closely or were big fans of wrestling 10 years ago...) but the youngster has all the assets to become a fixture in the international side for the next decade.  A blindside flanker in the classic mould, the 20 year old was a huge hit for the Rebels this year and it earned him the Australian conference ‘Rookie of the Year’ award.  Big, physical and mobile, he’ll be coming up against an England pack that has been impressive with their aggressive physicality so far this autumn – he’ll have to match up to that to get his side a foothold in the loose.

 

Key Battle

Chris Robshaw v Michael Hooper.  It won’t have escaped Hooper’s attention – or world rugby’s, for that matter – that a certain Mr Pocock is nearing full fitness back down under after nearly 2 years out with consecutive knee problems.  The Brumbies star is – or was – regarded as one of the finest opensides on the planet, but Hooper is now surely right up there too.  He’s perhaps not as devastating over the ball as Pocock, but his carrying and general work rate set him out as a class above.  He’ll be trying to nullify Robshaw, England’s skipper, most consistent performer and a man who is, in many ways, a similar player.  Both men love to get their hands on the ball and try to influence the game – and they often do, so today’s result may hinge on simply who puts in the bigger shift out of these two work-horses.

 

Prediction

Out of all the southern hemisphere nations, Australia is the one that England seem to have the most joy against, and there is a reason behind that.  Aside from the well-publicised set piece dominance (which doesn’t occur as often as you’d  think), England’s pack simply seem to be able to bully their counterparts in the tight exchanges.  There are a lot of positives to take so far from Cheika’s reign – such as inventiveness and incision out wide – but I’m not sure that physical dominance is one of them.  This is a critical game for England and I think they’ll raise their game accordingly, even though Wallabies will be emotionally charged after this week.  Another close one, but England should – and must – edge it.  England by 6.

 

And in the other Autumn Internationals?

Wales v South Africa:  My full preview of this potential nail-biter is up here: http://www.therugbyblog.com/autumn-internationals-2014-wales-vs-south-africa-prediction, but suffice to say that I have a nasty feeling that the Welsh will be in for another weekend of heartbreak.  South Africa by 4.

RuckedOver's Lost Boys XV

 

A lot of excitement has been brewing about a couple of England youngsters lately, with George Ford and Anthony Watson earning the dribbling compliments of various armchair pundits, but at the same time there’s plenty of frustration of the talent that’s unavailable to the selectors.  And some of those names aren’t available on a worryingly frequent basis – think of Manu Tuilagi, or Tom Croft.  The last thing they – or we, for that matter – want is for them to join the rather handy bunch listed below;  RuckedOver’s Lost Boys XV, a collection of talent unrealised because of injury, loss of confidence, trips abroad or Katie Price’s cleavage.  Whether they were semi-permanently hooked up to the treatment table, or just simply didn’t get the credit they deserved, they’re probably on the list below.

A couple of caveats, as usual.  Firstly, I’ve again only picked on people from 2000 onwards for memory purposes, so please don’t start making spurious claims about Stuart Barnes as England’s greatest unrealised talent (not that you would).   And secondly, and most importantly, there are a several names which would obviously have made it onto the list of talent we sadly never got to see flourish, such as Matt Hampson or Nick Duncombe.  I’ve left them out since, as most will know, my articles tend to be poorly articulated and crammed with questionable humour and I think not including them in this smorgasbord of nonsense was the most respectful thing to do.

Now, without further ado, join me in the Neverland of rugby as we meet England’s Lost Boys XV...

 

1.  Andrew Sheridan.  What, Big Ted?  The scourge of the Aussies, the man with 40 England caps and a veteran of 2 Lions Tours, an unrealised talent?  In a way, absolutely.  Despite being geometrically similar to a small tank, having a neck like an oak tree and requiring specially made, super-heavy dumbbells delivered to whichever gym he was at just to ‘break a sweat’, our Ted was a bit delicate.  Over his 8 year run in the international set up, the big man picked up an average of just 5 caps a year, often missing entire campaigns through niggles.  He may have destroyed the Wallaby pack in 2007, but if his ligaments had managed to cling to his bones more, he could have been a real legend.

2.  Andy Titterrell.  There was a time when the former Sale and Gloucester hooker could be regarded as England’s Schalk Brits – although, seeing as Titterrell burst onto the scene before the Saracens man, perhaps we should start calling Brits the “South African Andy Titterrell”.  If that nickname sticks, I demand credit.  Anyway, Titterrell was one of the first hookers out there who, although he could handle himself in the set-piece, really shone in the wider spaces.  Blessed with quick feet and sharp acceleration, he was a lethal ball-carrier with a good work rate, earning 5 England caps and a Lions Tour call up in 2005.  Sadly, though, niggles took away a bit of his zip and, after a spell with Gloucester, he faded into obscurity.

3.  David Flatman.  ‘Flats’ is a bona fide legend around Bath ways, having moved from Saracens in 2003, and rightly had a reputation of being a stalwart of the Premiership before his retirement a couple of years ago.  But there was a time when it seemed as if he was going to be so much more.  Earning his first cap at the age of just 20 in 2000 during England’s watershed tour to South Africa, big things were expected of the then Sarries’ loosehead (you’ll see I’ve cheated by including him at tighthead).  He was sniffing around the international set up for the next couple of years, earning 8 caps, before niggling injuries began to regularly affect his selection chances before he ended up dropping out of the squad altogether.  I’ve also heard, from a source, that he was “a bit of a tw*t”, which didn’t help his selection chances, but he always comes across pretty well on the TV so I’m not sure how much stock to place in that.

4.  Richard Blaze.  Probably the first one on our list to not become a gradual victim of various niggles, but one that had a promising career stopped abruptly before it could really get a foothold.  That’s an unfortunate – admittedly deliberate – turn of phrase as it was a recurring foot injury that forced the powerful lock to retire in 2010 at just 25.  In 2007 though, his star was on the rise, having been a monumental figure in a struggling Worcester pack before signing for the Leicester Tigers in the summer.  After just missing out on World Cup selection, the signs all pointed towards the lock becoming a mainstay enforcer in the midlands but, with international recognition surely beckoning (considering Mouritz Botha was capped, for goodness sakes), injury cruelly intervened.

5.  Hugh Vyvyan.  The former Newcastle and Sarries skipper is similar to Flatman in that he was a guy who proved himself time and again against the best at club level, but never seemed to be able to make that final step up to the international set up.  Around the golden years of England rugby, from 2001 to 2004, the big second row regularly captained England A as well as assuming skipper duties for the Falcons.  He earned himself a cap in 2004 – the same year he moved to Saracens and was made skipper before even playing a game – against Canada in an Autumn International, and even capped it off with a try.  But that was to be his only appearance in the white of England and, seeing as he was regarded as one of the stand-out leaders in the domestic game, I struggle to understand why that was.  Maybe it was because he’s ginger.

6.  Steffon Armitage.  Yep, we’re not just trekking down memory lane here – we can be current as well.  And the chunky flanker is also arguably the greatest example of lost talent for England – certainly if you measure it by column inches or drunken arguments in the pubs.  Armitage may look like a bit of porker but he established himself as a real groundhog for London Irish, although he never really found that form in an England shirt during his brief foray in 2009-10.  It was moving to Toulon though, that really saw his stock soar – widely being recognised as the best back-rower in Europe over the last 2 years and picking up an ERC Player of Year gong last season.  Most people would have him as a shoe-in for an England side, even if it means booting skipper Chris Robshaw into a 6 shirt, but the ban on selecting players plying their trade abroad has been longstanding and there would be dangerous consequences if it was ignored.  Armitage has admitted he knew that when he packed up for the sun and chunky pay packets of the South of France.

7.  Tom Rees.  At one point, the Wasps man was widely regarded as England’s captain in waiting, and sort of our answer to Richie McCaw.  The signs were certainly promising – I remember seeing him in late 2006, just turned 22, single-handedly destroying Leicester at the breakdown and chipping in with a couple of 20 metre tries, too.  He was a phenomenal athlete and a natural leader – learning your trade under Lawrence Dallaglio can’t be that bad – but even at a young age the amount of knee trouble he had was worrying.  He was never able to string a decent run of games together, impressing in the Six Nations, the World Cup and on the 2008 Tour to New Zealand – against McCaw – but always following a good display with a long layoff.  That trip to Middle Earth proved to be his last hurrah in an England shirt, and in 2012 the poor bloke had to call it quits at just 27 years old.

8.  Jamie Forrester.  The ex-Gloucester man divided opinion at number 8 – even at Kingsholm – with some alleging that he was too lightweight and fleet-of-foot to be the yard-maker at the back of a scrum.  I say b*gger that, can you skin Jonah Lomu on the outside in your first appearance in an England shirt?  Thought not.  Forrester was the neutral’s dream of a number 8, not necessarily the biggest but possessing Tom Croft-esque pace and wonderfully soft hands.  His first thought was to always attack – hence his frankly awesome record of 51 tries in 144 games for the Cherry and Whites – but, like Rees, he put a lot of pressure on his knees and after consecutive blowouts he was forced to hang up his boots in 2008, with just a couple of fleeting caps off the bench from 2005 to his name.

9.  Joe Simpson.  It probably seems odd to pick a guy who’s still only 26 as being a sort of lost talent, but remember when he broke onto the scene for Wasps?  This was the bloke who was going to be battling out with Ben Youngs for the England 9 shirt for the next decade.  Despite looking like a malnourished Mitchell brother, the Wasps man had – and still has – simply electrifying pace off the mark and a real eye for a gap.  It earned him a spot in the 2011 World Cup squad, where he picked up a solitary cap off the bench, but he does seem to have a knack of getting injured at the wrong time.  He’s started this year well, though, so maybe he’ll end up falling into the “late developer” category instead.

10.  Danny Cipriani.  Ah, Danny boy.  The boy wonder can have his own category of “squandered” as opposed to “lost” talent.  Another youngster to impress in the black shirts of Wasps, he started off as a precocious full back in 2006-07, winning a Heinken Cup final in the process – during which he made a superb try-saving tackle on Alex Tuilagi.  No signs of defensive frailties then, hey?  He then simply set the Premiership alight as a fly half, impressed for England in his debut year, got Stuart Barnes spurting out some drivel about making him England captain immediately, but then suffered a terrible leg break against Bath.  And from there, it all went downhill, although the warning signs had been there in the form of pre-match all-night booze-ups.  It became apparent that he was more interested in bed-bouncing with Kelly Brook (fair call), before Cheeky-Girl-dating, vodka-stealing and failed-bus-chickening all pushed rugby (and tackling) to the back seat, whether in Australia or back over here.  But over the last two years, we’ve seen a resurgence, and the boy wonder is back on the England radar.  He’s not the sensation he was before, but maybe that’s a good thing.

11.  Tom Varndell.  I personally quite like Varndell, but he also wins the award for being the most frustrating rugby player on the planet.  6 foot 3, 16 stone, with a record of 10.58 over the 100 metres when he was a schoolboy – these all sound like perfect attributes for a winger, but unfortunately the big guy is about as threatening as a bag of bunnies in defence.  What makes it all the more infuriating is that I’ve seen him throw his shoulder around to good effect when something has annoyed him, but he appears to have an inconveniently long-fuse most days.  It’s a shame, as he’s been the Premiership’s top try scorer for half the years he’s competed in and is a born finisher – and there is an argument to say if he was a Kiwi the defensive frailties are overlooked, but those people overlook the key question to be asked of any English winger: “But can he do it on a rainy day in Salford?”.

12.  Ollie Smith.  “The best young centre I’ve come up against”.  The subject of the quote?  Ollie Smith.  The quotee?  Brian O’Driscoll, right after his Leinster side had been dumped out of the Heineken Cup quarter final by Leicester in Dublin.  Smith, just 23 at the time, had ran riot against the Irish legend during a season in which he was arguably the form centre in the northern hemisphere, with an electric outside break, slick hands and a thumping tackle – not dislike a certain Leinsterman.  Smith earned 5 caps for England, but Andy Robinson for some reason insisted playing Jamie Noon ahead of the youngster, a folly made all the more obvious when Smith was selected for the 2005 Lions ahead of the Falcons man.  Unfortunately, a combination of persistent injuries and the passing of his father led to a dip in form and confidence, from which he never really recovered, before retiring from injury in 2012.  He’s now backs coach at London Welsh.

13.  Mathew Tait.  Another man chosen ahead of Smith for England in 2005 was a certain Mathew Tait, just 18 at the time.  We all know how that went for him.  Whether or not he would have fully realised that precocious talent if he had been properly managed at the start of his career instead of having his confidence obliterated by that blundering oaf, Andy Robinson, we’ll never know, but we do know that an array of injuries haven’t helped his cause.  He’s now at Leicester, playing full back and giving the odd glimmer of brilliance, but without injuries and the pre-mentioned buffoon we might have been seeing moments like his 2007 World Cup final “Run of Destiny” on a weekly basis.

14.  James Simpson-Daniel.  I strongly advise you to ask for Sinbad’s lottery numbers, because he used up all of his bad luck on the injury front.  The Gloucester flyer burst onto the scene in the 2002 by skinning Lomu in an England game against the Barbarians (it seems to be a common theme...) before facing up to him again in the Autumn Internationals and continuing to impress.  It was clear that he was a prodigal talent and the sort of wonderfully balanced runner you just don’t get in England, but from 2002 onwards it seemed that whenever international selection beckoned, injury struck.  A real legend at Kingsholdm, he retired at the beginning of this season due to persistent niggles but will surely go down as one of the “potentially” greatest wingers to play for England.

15.  Olly Morgan.  The ex-Gloucester man (another one, I know) just pips the perennially-overlooked Nick Abendanon for the full back spot, purely because – in my mind – he had the ability to an absolutely first-rate 15.  He had the classic mould of a great full-back – superb under the high ball, strong in the tackle and possessing an ability to carve late lines through defences.  Yes, despite looking like Ben Fogle, the man from the West Country would surely have had more than the 2 caps he picked up in 2007 – but we’ll never know, as those pesky knee injuries that have been the bane of so many of the above took their toll and forced him to take a pew in October 2013, aged 27.

 

Coach:  Austin Healey.  Well, I couldn’t fit him in, so I’m making the “Leicester Lip” coach.  He always seems to have good ideas (according to him, anyway) on the telly.  Yes, he had 51 England caps and 2 Lions tours, but seeing that he played every position across that backline (and did most of them very, very well), could he have had even more if he’d had nailed his colours to one particular mast?

Who would make it onto your “Lost Boys XV”?

 

Autumn International Review - England 28 - 9 Samoa

Anyone who has the misfortune or the lack of social life required to regularly read my blog will know that I am pretty hit and miss with my predictions.  Last Six Nations, I exactly predicted three of the score differences in England’s games.  Did I put money on it?  Of course I bloody didn’t, because I’m an idiot.  What did I put money on?  Bath and Leicester drawing in their fixture earlier on this season.  The West Country side snuck past their rivals 45 – 0.  Not quite a draw, was it?

But one thing I could predict with some certainty as England trotted out on Saturday in their new money-making red strip to face the Samoans at Twickenham, was that there would be a few sore bodies on the Sunday.  Playing the Pacific Islanders, even when they are in a political struggle with their management and when you’re blooding a 21 year old at fly half, is never a comfortable experience.

Despite England’s different appearance, the opening exchanges were nothing new as England attempted to set a frantic pace – but, like the week before against the Springboks, they were let down by lateral running and some disappointing handling.  Of course, those problems are made all the more acute when you have a blue wall of pure Samoan muscle heading your way, but some poor kicking from Owen Farrell and indiscipline at the breakdown by the eager-to-impress James Haskell led to the visitors knocking over the first points of the day via the boot of Tusi Pisi.

That seemed to be the wake-up call that hosts needed and they began to tighten up the game, popping passes out of the point of contact before the likes of Filo Paulo and/or Kane Thompson could disrupt the possession with a chunky shoulder...although George Ford and Anthony Watson both felt the full force of Test Match Rugby on more than one occasion.  Ford, though, seemed unruffled as he stroked England level with a well struck penalty before he played a decisive role in the build up to the first try – running a loop off Farrell (with Barritt running a not-unsubstantial blocking line) to feed Mike Brown, who fed a suspiciously forward inside pass to Johnny May.  The Gloucester winger looks like a man reborn since his wonder try against the All Blacks, and he kicked on the afterburners to scorch through a gap in the Samoan defence and touch down by the sticks.  Ford’s conversion took the score to 10 points to 3, before exchanging penalties with Pisi once more.

The problem for England is still, worryingly, a lack of accuracy when the opportunities open up however.  And this came to the fore once again as Ford, who had kicked for territory with great intelligence and accuracy when game had become too loose for England’s liking, scythed through a gap on a diagonal run before looking to feed Brown,  The Quins full-back was, however, running too lateral to cause a threat and spilt the ball forwards in a manner that caused flashbacks to ‘that’ chance against the All Blacks.

It left the score at 13 – 6 at half-time and, although England had dominated the set piece, territory and possession, they were once again being too lateral and too inaccurate in damp conditions.  The start of the second period saw an immediate improvement, though, with the forwards beginning to rumble nicely and, following another maul, Ford arrowed a perfect cross-field kick to Watson, who stepped inside and unselfishly fed Brown for the try.  20 – 6, after Ford’s conversion, seemed like a much more satisfying scoreline and, despite a Pisi penalty for a brainless Farrell infringement, it looked as if it would get even better when Johnny Leota levelled Ford with a fantastic hit which was harshly adjudged to be dangerous by Jaco Peyper – who brandished a yellow card to the centre.  Ben Youngs had looked reliable and sharp at 9, but this pass was a tad on the hospital side, allowing Leota to time his run and smash to perfection, and the impact looked to be in the upper-chest.  Ford, to his credit, jumped straight back onto his feet with a wry smile on his face before – presumably – thanking a sheepish Youngs for his kind service and knocking over three points.

England immediately took advantage of the extra man though, with a rolling maul creating space out wide where quick hands from Dave Attwood and Joe Marler, of all people, opened up acres of room for Johnny May to slide in at the corner.  Ford couldn’t add the extras, but now there was a real feeling that – finally – the men in red might cut loose, but it wasn’t to be, as they took their foot off the pedal and inaccuracies crept their way back into the game.  Both sides had their chances to score, with Leota being denied by a superb cover tackle by Billy Twelvetrees, Marlande Yarde butchering a 2-on-1 deep in his own half and Dave Attwood spilling the ball with the line at his mercy after another Ford break. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a win.  We can talk about whether the positives – the performance of the half backs and the set piece in particular – outweigh the negatives, with Farrell’s unconvincing display at 12 and James Haskell’s surprising anonymity springing to mind, but at the end of the day that ‘W’ is all that really matters.  And all that will matter when the Wallabies come to town next weekend.

NB Great to see the English players show their unity with their Samoan counterparts at the end of the game, huddling together in a show of support in the Islanders’ ongoing dispute with their rugby union.  Hopefully it all gets resolved soon.

 

England Player Ratings

Mike Brown – 6 – A solid display, popping up for a score and helping to set one up, but some uncharacteristically poor handling and lateral running let him down.

Anthony Watson – 7 – He actually saw the ball this week which is always a bonus.  Made some strong surges with the ball in hand and was unselfish and aware in setting up Brown’s try.

Brad Barritt – 5 – 100% commitment and strong defence as ever, but when your 13’s most notable attacking contribution is a good dummy line, you have to question what they have to offer.

Owen Farrell – 5 – A bit of a mixed bag.  Some decent hands were involved in setting up May’s second and no doubt his tall helped Ford ‘bed in’, but his defence and discipline was sloppy at times.

Johnny May – 8 – Looking more and more at home on the international scene.  Showed a real nose for the line with the first finish as well as the customary blistering pace.

George Ford – 8 – An excellent starting debut.  His decision making was good, kicking reliable and he looked lively throughout.  Also showed that he’s a tough cookie after getting up from a couple of monster hits.

Ben Youngs – 7 – One hospital pass aside, he gave Ford a smooth ride with some slick service (with that “2-step” notable by its absence) and accurate box-kicking.  No sniping of note, though.

Joe Marler – 7 – Had the upper hand in the scrum and carried plenty as well, but it was his handling in the build up to the third try that really impressed.

Rob Webber – 7 – Worked his socks off around the park and – importantly – ran a near-perfect line-out.  Has done enough to keep his place ahead of Hartley next week.

Dave Wilson – 7 – Another strong performance in the set piece and, although his handling occasionally lets him down, he does make some handy metres in the tight.

Dave Attwood – 7 – A disappointing penalty off a maul in the first half couldn’t overshadow another industrious display by Attwood, who provided physical muscularity throughout.

Courtney Lawes – 6 – Not at his most conspicuous, by any means.  Some decent carries but we didn’t really seem him impose himself in defence.

James Haskell – 6 – Recovered well after conceding a couple of silly penalties early on.  One cover tackle in particular demonstrated his work-rate but it wasn’t perhaps the eye-catching display he would have wanted.

Chris Robshaw – 8 – Another fine display from the England skipper, carrying the ball and acting as a link man, but it was his defence that really impressed, making 20 tackles in a tireless performance.

Ben Morgan – 6 – Like Haskell, perhaps it wasn’t the all-action display he was looking for but nonetheless he still made some big metres with the ball in hand.

Subs – 6 – Some positives for sure, with George Kruis impressing once again and Billy Twelvetrees coming in with a superb cover tackle to save a try.  Kieran Brookes provided plenty of impact again, whilst Yarde made some good runs but butchered a golden opportunity late on.

 

Samoa Player Ratings

Ken Pisi – 7 – Samoa’s most dangerous back, he ran for far more metres than anyone else (on either side) and was a threat on the kick return all evening.  A little shaky under the high ball though and missed some tackles.

Alapati Leiua – 6 – What a shame he could not get more involved.  Showed his power with his few touches but struggled to find any real space.

Ray Lee-Lo – 5 – Couldn’t create a whole lot of go-forward in attack but weighed in with a couple of solid hits in defence.

Johnny Leota – 6 – I thought he was really unlucky with his yellow card.  He was a brutal presence in the tackle area but he wasn’t seen too much with the ball in hand.

David Lemi – 6 – Probably saw the ball more than any other back but couldn’t unlock too many opportunities, even with his dancing feet.  Probably out of position for Brown’s score, too.

Tusi Pisi – 7 – He was reliable with the boot and varied his game intelligently, although some of his kicking from hand was a little wayward.

Kahn Fotuali’i – 6 – Rarely had the most stable platform to work off, but nonetheless worked tirelessly to try and inject some menace around the fringes.

Zak Taulafo – 5 – Given a real going over in the set piece and wasn’t particularly mobile in defence, but he did get his hands on the ball plenty of times.

Ti’i Paulo – 5 – Actually held the lineout together fairly well given the pressure he was under, but he was fairly anonymous elsewhere on the park.

Census Johnston – 6 – Came off second best in the scrum battle, although he did have his moments and was a reliable source of front-foot ball for the visitors.

Filo Paulo – 8 – Samoa’s best player, especially in the first half.  Some of his hits were bone-jarring for the fans, let alone the recipients, and he was a real nuisance at ruck time.

Kane Thompson – 7 – Like Paulo, put himself around a lot in the loose and in defence, but found himself incurring the wrath of the referee on three separate occasions.

Maurie Fa’asavalu – 7 – Some trademark strong carries and plenty of oomph in defence as well, but was unable to really slow down English ball.

Jack Lam – 6 – Showed some dynamism with the ball in hand but he didn’t make too many tackles, and missed a couple as well.

Ofisa Treviranus – 7 – Some power-packed rumbles in the loose and off the back of the scrum – generally aiming at George Ford – got the Samoan fans on their feet.  Not great defensively, though.

Subs – 5 – Stemmed the flow of English points but unable to add a whole lot of spark to bring the Samoans back into things.

And in the other Autumn Internationals?

Ireland 26 – 23 Australia:  The Irish won a thriller in front of an electric atmosphere in the Aviva Stadium.  The hosts were actually 17 – 0 up after scores from Simon Zebo and Tommy Bowe, but tries from Nick Phipps (2) and Bernard Foley hauled the men in gold level.  The boot of World Player of Year nominee Johnny Sexton was enough to see them home, however.

Wales 16 – 34 New Zealand:  Wales’ 60 year hoodoo against the World Champions goes on, but it looked like history was going to be made when the hosts led 16 – 15 with 11 minutes remaining, with Rhys Webb’s score cancelling out Julian Savea’s effort.  But apparently you only beat the All Blacks if they let you win, and they tore the Welsh apart in the final 10 minutes via a brace from Beauden Barritt and an effort from the omnipresent Kieran Read.

Scotland 37 – 12 Tonga:  It was a tricky encounter in the first half for the Scots, but they eventually pulled away to exorcise the demons of their 2012 defeat.  Efforts from Stuart Hogg, Blair Cowan, Alex Dunbar, Geoff Cross and Tommy Seymour all sealed an ultimately comfortable win for the rejuvenated Scots.

Italy 6 – 22 South Africa:  The Springboks stuttered their way to an unconvincing win over the Azurri, with scores from Connie Oosthuizen, Cobus Reinach and Bryan Habana covering up a disjointed display from the visitors.

France 13 – 18 Argentina:   Ah the French.  Just when you think that they were building momentum, they go ahead and get outdone by a side they’re expected to beat.  Nicholas Sanchez was imperious, spanking over 3 drop goals and 2 penalties, with Hernandez adding a 4^th drop, to beat Les Bleus, despite the hosts crossing for 3 scores from Fofana, Lopez and Kockott.

Autumn International Preview - England v Samoa

Everybody has a bad week from time to time.  Mine wasn’t particularly brilliant to be honest, but that was largely self-inflicted as these days it takes me 48 hours to get over a hangover and so a Wednesday night trip to the pub effectively ruined my productivity for the rest of the week.  But that fades into insignificance when compared to next England or Samoa’s weeks.

Stuart Lancaster’s side, and Stuart Lancaster himself, are under more pressure than they probably have been in the head coach’s three year tenure.  Five defeats on the bounce – admittedly against the world’s best two sides – does not make for good reading, no matter how narrow the majority of those margins have been.  The pressure has intensified as well as one of the clearest under-performers, Owen Farrell, retains his place in the starting line-up despite Kyle Eastmond showing some promising signs in the 12 shirt – the Bath man was deemed unfit, but yet he starts for his club side this weekend.  The bottom line is that England need fluency, they need tempo, they need incision.  They need a performance.

Samoa have had a bad week for very different reasons.  Although they haven’t been at their brutal best this Autumn, they’re not under the same results-based pressure as England, having won three, drawn one and lost one in their last five.  Instead, the Samoa camp has been besieged by rumours of a strike, brought about by poor relations between the players and the management of the Samoan Rugby Union, with gripes dating back to the 2011 World Cup.  The allegations involve poor communication, misuse or misallocation of funds for the players and the inability to organise a p*ss up in a brewery.  We don’t know the full facts, but what a shame it is that one of the most talented rugby playing nations is being held back from achieving its full potential.   Clearly there is something fishy going on, and the only way to get around that is for the IRB (or World Rugby, as they are now known) to conduct a full and transparent audit of the Samoan rugby union.

Yes, these have been difficult, painful weeks.  And matches against Samoa are always painful at the best of times.  But whoever loses will be hurting a hell of a lot more come Sunday morning.

 

England Team News

England have made five personnel changes to the side to face Samoa with full debutant George Ford among the new names from last week's narrow defeat by South Africa.   Owen Farrell moves to inside centre to make way for Ford, who forms an all-new half-back pairing with Ben Youngs, who replaces the dropped Danny Care. Kyle Eastmond is unavailable because of a concussion suffered last weekend.  The other three changes come in the pack. Dylan Hartley makes way for Rob Webber at hooker while Ben Morgan and James Haskell come into the back-row, with Tom Wood dropping to the bench and Billy Vunipola missing out altogether.

Starting Line up:  15-Mike Brown , 14-Anthony Watson, 13-Brad Barritt, 12-Owen Farrell, 11-Jonny May, 10-George Ford, 9-Ben Youngs; 1-Joe Marler, 2-Rob Webber, 3-David Wilson, 4-Dave Attwood, 5-Courtney Lawes, 6-James Haskell, 7-Chris Robshaw, 8-Ben Morgan

Subs: 16-Dylan Hartley, 17-Matt Mullan, 18-Kieran Brookes, 19-George Kruis, 20-Tom Wood, 21-Richard Wigglesworth, 22-Billy Twelvetrees, 23-Marland Yarde

Key Player

George Ford.  Much has been made of Farrell’s continued selection in the side given his clear lack of fitness and form, but the youngster from Bath finally gets his first England start in the 10 shirt against Samoa.  For me though, it’s a bit of mixed fortune for the talented fly-half – yes, he is playing outside of Ben Youngs, who he knows well from his days at Leicester, but he has Owen Farrell and Brad Barritt outside of him.  Now, Farrell played with Ford in the same positions in the under 20s, but that is a very different game, and neither Farrell nor Barritt add anywhere near the same kind of attacking or running threat that Eastmond or Joseph do at Bath.  Ford plays so well when he is flat to the line, picking out his strike runners, but with the centre combination outside him his options has been limited.  His decision making and ability to bring in the forwards off his shoulder are therefore key – but he can’t afford to go into his shell and stop attacking the line.

 

Samoa Team News

Samoa tight-head Census Johnston will win his 50th Test cap on Saturday when they face England at Twickenham.   Johnston, who made three appearances for the Pacific Islands team, starts at tight-head for Samoa with Zak Taulafo and Ti'i Paulo joining him in the front-row. Filo Paulo and Kane Thompson link up in the second-row with Maurie Fa'asavalu, Jack Lam and Ofisa Treviranus completing the pack.   In the backs, Kahn Fotuali'i and Tusi Pisi link-up at half-back with David Lemi, Alapati Leiua, Ken Pisi forming the back three. Reynold Lee-lo and Johnny Leota link up in the centres.

Starting Line up: 15-Ken Pisi, 14-Alapati Leiua, 13-Reynold Lee-Lo, 12-Johnny Leota, 11-David Lemi, 10-Tusi Pisi, 9-Kahn Fotuali'i; 1-Zak Taulafo, 2-Ti'i Paulo, 3-Census Johnston, 4-Filo Paulo, 5-Kane Thompson, 6-Maurie Fa'asavalu, 7-Jack Lam, 8-Ofisa Treviranus

Subs: 16-Manu Leiataua, 17-Viliamu Afatia, 18-Anthony Perenise, 19-Fa'atiga Lemalu, 20-Dan Leo, 21-TJ Ioane, 22-Pete Cowley, 23-Mike Stanley

Key Player

Alapati Leiua.  Census Johnston, on his 50^th cap, has a monumental battle keeping the Samoan scrum competitive against a strong England set piece, but Wasps man Leiua is a real weapon for the Islanders in the backline.  Comfortable on the wing or in the centres, he has genuine pace and power and is deadly when shown half a gap.  He’s been growing into the English game with Wasps but, over the last few weeks, he has really grown in authority and has an ability to make yards in the tackle when all common sense suggests he should go to ground.  And if you need reminding of what he is capable of, check out the below from his Super Rugby days.

 

Key Battle

Ben Youngs v Kahn Fotuali’i.  These two are used to facing off against one another in a Midlands derby and both will be absolutely critical to their side’s prospects on Saturday evening – albeit for different reasons.  Youngs is returned to the side mainly because of Care’s collapse in form as opposed to his personal resurgence (although he has been solid), but he has an opportunity to put a real marker down.  He should get a good platform from a pack that has been setting decent foundations all Autumn, but he needs to go back to his old ways of playing from instinct and at high tempo.  Care, of late, has been far too considered and predictable in his approach – and that has stifled plenty of attacks at source.  Youngs must avoid the same pitfalls.  Fotali’i, on the other hand, can’t be guaranteed such a solid platform in all likelihood, with the Samoan set piece still looking vulnerable.  He will have to be snappy at clearing up loose ball and look to involve his huge loose forwards in the near channels at every opportunity – that’s where they will generate quick and clean ball.

 

Prediction

It’s been a difficult week for both sides and Samoa are, for me, one of the slumbering giants in world rugby...helped by the fact that the majority of their players are actually giants.  I don’t think this will be the game where they lay down another shock on the world stage, however.  There’s too much going on off the field and they haven’t looked overly fluent in the weeks leading up to the game – and England will be very, very hungry to shut their critics up.  England by 19.

 

And in the other Autumn Internationals?

Wales v New Zealand:  Rhys Webb has claimed that the All Blacks are “there for the taking”.  Don’t say that, Rhys.  You’ll make them angry.  My full preview is at http://www.therugbyblog.com/autumn-internationals-2014-wales-vs-new-zealand-prediction but, for now, All Blacks by 6.

Scotland v Tonga:  Memories of that terrible afternoon in 2012 still feel relatively fresh, but I don’t think we’ll be seeing a repeat.  There are waves of genuine optimism in the north for the first time in years:  Scotland by 15.

Ireland v Australia:  This has the potential to a belter in the showdown between the two ex-Leinster coaches.  The Wallabies already look more fluent under Cheika but Ireland are genuine dark horses for the World Cup under Schmidt. Ireland by 4.

Italy v South Africa:  The Springboks seem to have recovered from that shocker against the Irish, whilst Italy continue to fail to impress.  South Africa by 20.

France v Argentina:  Are Les Bleus finally back on track?  The signs are looking ominous, with the Pumas struggling for consistency.  France by 12.

RuckedOver's XV of England Players Who Probably (If We're Being Honest) Shouldn't Have Been England Players

 

It’s been a difficult couple of months for England, whether you’re a fan, player or coach.  Five losses on the bounce for the first time since those dark Andy Robinson days (although these defeats have come exclusively against the top two sides in the world), questions over selection and the quality of coaching, and the lack of form of several key players has all led to the rather negative aura pervading the state of English side at the moment.  But it could be worse.

You see, all this criticism of various players – some of it over the top – started me thinking (which is always dangerous):  who have been the most questionable selections for the England jersey?  Or, if that’s not specific enough for you – who would fill the spots of the XV Of England Players Who (If We’re Being Honest) Probably Shouldn't Have Been England Players?

Of course, I need to make a couple of caveats.  Firstly, I’m only selecting players post-2000, mainly for memory purposes but also because you otherwise end up with some pretty obscure names from the infamous Tour from Hell in 1998...such as Rob Fidler, for example (bonus points to those who can name his club and position).  Secondly, I have to of course acknowledge that all of the below are roughly 1000 times the player I am or ever could be and – no matter what – they have an England cap (or several) which nobody can ever take away.  Unless it’s stolen, I suppose.

But  the fact of the matter is that being selected for International duty means you're the best available player in your position in the country and, in the case of some players, that was a rather sobering thought to some fans.  So, without further ado, let’s dive into the team with the capacity to strike sheer and utter despondency into the hearts of its own supporters...the XV Of England Players Who (If We’re Being Honest) Probably Shouldn't Have Been England Players.  Snappier titles will be considered.

 

1.  Darren Crompton.  Ah, Dazza.  The Bristol prop was a solid bloke who anchored the Bristol scrum during that season where they finished 3^rd in the Premiership, in 2006-07, and was rewarded with a call up to the England squad for their tour to South Africa, mainly because coach Brian Ashton was without players from Leicester, Bath and Wasps (between them, most of the England squad) due to European Cup commitments.  Now, Darren was a decent prop – he could hold his own in a scrum, but he was never the most mobile and, since he was 34 when he made his bow in international colours, he was practically stationary by the time he put on the England shirt.  Looking like a bouncer from a local Oceana nightclub didn’t help his cause, and he also had one of those tragically frumpy English names – you know, the sort that would miss a penalty in Football World Cup shoot-out.  Think about it – Chris Waddle, David Batty, Darren Crompton...it fits.

 

2.  Matt Cairns.  Those that remember Matt Cairns will recall two things – firstly, the fact that his head represented a near-geometrically-perfect egg and, secondly, that he was a bit of a Premiership journeyman, spending the majority of his career with Saracens but also having spells with Sale and Harlequins – but everywhere he went, he tended to be a squad player.  Plenty of effort of course, but it’s probably fair to say that if England hadn’t been robbed of half their squad before the 2007 tour to South Africa, Cairns would have remained the perfect example of the uncapped club man.   

 

3.  Paul Doran-Jones.  At one point, PDJ was heralded as something of a ‘man for the future’ for England, making his debut in 2009.  Much was made of his mobility and the fact he is a finely chiselled young man – much like his schoolmate and fellow ‘film-maker’ (google it), James Haskell – so it was unfortunate that he was utterly pants at scrummaging.  He spent most of his time in England colours being turned upside down in the set-piece and being battered backwards in contact.  And, sadly, it looks like that talent hasn’t materialised as hoped, with the prop now languishing in the reserves at Harlequins.

 

4.  Louis Deacon. It may seem odd to pick on somebody who has 29 caps for England, but if anybody represented that tedious wave of numb despondency that overcame you when you read yet another uninspiring England team selection, it was probably Louis Deacon.  Or Steve Borthwick, but at least he was lineout geek and – to be fair – was an England captain, rightly or wrongly.  Now Deacon was as tough as nails, but was about as mobile and athletic as the very comfy sofa that I’m currently sat on and offered next to no threat to opponents.  Unfortunately, he falls into that category of England players whose best quality was ‘being brave’, which fills you with admiration...but not a whole lot of confidence.

 

"Is that biltong??"

 

5.  Mouritz Botha.  There’s a list of reasons for picking poor old Mouritz, despite the fact he packed a punch in the tackle.  First, he looks like a beefed up Worzel Gummidge.  Secondly, his hands were like giant bars of soap.  And thirdly, it was just that he was very, very South African as opposed to English.  Now, I am in no way one of those “Little Englanders” who will only accept white chaps born in Buckinghamshire as potentials to wear the red rose – blokes like Hartley and Tuilagi are fine by me, having come through the youth grades and what-not – but if you were to pick out a stereotypical South African, Mouritz would be atop of the list, chewing away on some biltong.

 

6.  Roy Winters.  Another man who made his bow on that ill-fated trip to South Africa in 2007, Winters is by all accounts a Bristol legend and an all-round good egg. He was usually a lock but made his international debut on the flank, so that’s where he fits in – and he’s selected for many of the same reasons as his old club-mate Darren Crompton.  Solid bloke, yes, but international quality?  Not by a long shot.  And, as well as having the typical name of an English penalty-misser, he’s called Roy.  Roy does your gardening or fixes a leaky pipe – he doesn’t play international rugby.

 

7.  Andy Hazell.   Almost sounding the horn for the start of Andy Robinson’s reign of disappointment himself, Gloucester stalwart Hazell had the unenviable task of filling the retired Neil Back’s shoes.  We can assume that Robinson’s thought process was, “He’s small, he’s aggressive, he’s just like Neil Back”, but unfortunately it didn’t really work out like that.  Making his international appearances exclusively through 2004-5, Hazell became known as a bit of a penalty machine and was part of an England pack that started to get bullied at the breakdown on a regular basis.

 

8.  Jordan Crane.  I find Jordan Crane a tad misleading.  You would think that any number eight who bleaches their hair has probably more than a pinch of magic in their boots – but you’d be dead wrong.  Crane is a great club number 8, but when pundits use the word ‘plodding’ to describe his movement, you can see why he isn’t someone to take the game to the opposition.  Didn’t do anything wrong in his appearances per se, but that’s not really a ringing endorsement when you’re supposed to be talking about the chief yard-maker in the pack.

 

9.  Shaun Perry.  Just pips Peter Richards, the man who looks like a low-budget 80s adult film star.  Much was made of the fact that Shaun Perry was an ex-welder when he burst into the limelight during an impressive season with Bristol, and it did make a charming rags-to-riches story.  But, let’s be honest, he still very much looked like a welder even in an England shirt.  He wasn’t the most nimble scrum-half in the world to put it mildly and seeing him crammed into his international jersey when facing the All Blacks was both sobering and cringe-worthy in equal measure.  They had Justin Marshall.  We had Shaun Perry.

 

Andy Food - AKA The Specimen

 

10.  Andy Goode.  I should say at the outset that I rate old Andy very highly as a player – he’s been a dominant force for a decade in the Premiership and he had some very decent games indeed in an England shirt.  He’s by no means the worst 10 to play for England, not by a long shot.  But look at him.  Fly-halves are supposed to be the pin-up boys of any side, the athletic and charming playmakers who have more girlfriends than anyone else.  Goodey looks like a space-hopper with a comb-over.  No matter how cultured that boot is, the England fly-half – the poster boy of the international side – shouldn’t look like that.

 

11.  Lesley Vainakolo:  ‘The Volcano’ stormed onto the scene for Gloucester, doing something ridiculous like scoring five tries on his debut against Leeds, before qualifying for England on residency grounds despite having represented New Zealand in rugby league.  He even turned down his native Tonga for the chance of playing for England.  But his biggest contribution on the international scene was to do model a very pretty braiding arrangement in his hair for 80 minutes, but other than that he provided sweet F-A.  For a man of that power and ability, to remain anonymous for 5 full Tests was pretty remarkable.

 

12.  Henry Paul.  Another example of a New Zealand international rugby league player who conveniently changed national allegiance upon picking up rugby union, Paul was arguably one of the biggest flops of all time in an England shirt, especially considering his talents and success in the other code.  He picked up 6 caps for England, with his final one coming in 2004 against Australia, when he produced a display of absolute ineptitude, prompting coach Andy Robinson – who was a bit trigger happy in his early days as head coach – to haul the centre off after just 22 minutes.

 

13.  Joel Tompkins.  The most recent of players to make the side, Tompkins was the latest man to try and fill the 13 shirt in the absence of the perennially injured Manu Tuilagi.  Another man who had found success in rugby league, Tompkins was at least in no doubt about his national allegiance but unfortunately was probably one of the least inspiring picks to ever play in an England shirt, proving about as intimidating as Mother Theresa.  Not quick enough or nimble enough to go round people, not strong enough to go through, not aggressive enough to seriously threaten in defence, and – despite his talents – he didn’t make a single offload in the 2013 Autumn Series (his only international campaign).  Even his haircut was very, very boring.  Just pips Ayoola Erinle, who at least had a distinguished club career behind him.

 

14.  Phil Christophers.  Christophers actually played in that glorious 2002 Autumn campaign and, like a couple of others on here, isn’t in here because of poor performance, but rather because of p*ss poor appearance.  I’m shallow like that.  Looking like he’d arrived straight on the rugby field from Eton School, having been given a lift in a helicopter by father, Christophers highstepped his way around the field with his hair flopping around like a Hugh Grant wig, and presumably shouted “Tally-ho” with every carry of the ball.  It’s difficult to like a really obvious toff at the best of times, which is probably why the South Africans high tackled him into next week.

 

15.  Mark Van Gisbergen.  Yes, he has a cap – only a fleeting one, as a late replacement for Mark Cueto against Australia in 2005 – but he does boast a 100% winning ratio in international colours, so you can’t knock that.  But was he really good enough to be in the England team?  Don’t get me wrong, he was a marvellous kicker of the ball but aside from that, “Gizzy”’s main strengths were dropping the high ball under limited pressure and getting gassed on the outside. 

 

Coach:  Andy Robinson.  His record speaks for itself, but his fate was sealed when – after a defeat against Argentina at Twickenham – he responded to a question as to what at gone wrong with a smile, a shrug, and a “We were crap”.  That’s not good enough, Andy.

 Who have we missed, or who's been hard done by?  Leave your thoughts below.